Teen Girl Fashions: Cool or Cruel by Yasmin Shiraz

Any person thirty five years or older who has recently walked past a group of middle school or high school girls has probably seen more waist and hip skin than they ever imagined on a 12 year old, more cleavage than they thought possible on a 15 year old, and more belly buttons than a Beyonce’ video. The trends and fashion statements that are “in style” with pre-teens and teens today would have earned women who are in their mid thirties a suspension from school for inappropriate dressing.
But it isn’t the fashions themselves that have me frustrated. It is the fact that through wearing some of these items at such an early age, young girls are not learning what comfortable clothing feels like, they’re not learning how to not feel objectified by their dress, and they’re not learning how to present their individuality outside of these trends. My ten year old daughter taught me how cruel teen girl fashions have become.
Last year, in the beginning of my daughter’s 5th grade school year, she was wearing the low waist jeans. I’d be in the kitchen cooking dinner and she’d sit down and do her homework. As I walked past, I’d notice more backside than waist was in full view. I’d tell her, “Pull your pants up. Nobody wants to see where the sun doesn’t shine.” The next day, she’d have on a different pair of jeans, she’d sit down and again, I’m seeing the top of her gluteus maximus where some fabric should have been. I didn’t recall buying all these low waist pants. When we were in the department store it seemed that the pants covered her bottom, but now it seemed every time I walked by I was getting mooned. For the next couple of weeks, I must have sounded like the booty crack monitor because I was telling my daughter to pull up her pants like every five minutes. Finally, I became so angry I asked her where were her underpants. Defensively, she told me, “I have on underwear.” Well, an argument ensued because if my pants fell below my waist you’d see cotton bloomers before you’d see my naked skin. Why weren’t my daughter’s undies protecting her?
My daughter and I went upstairs and talked and she showed me that she did indeed have on her underwear, but she’d begun to fold over the top of her underwear because she’d learned in school that you shouldn’t let people see your underwear if you have on low rise pants. What was worse is that she’d kept wearing underwear that were too small to achieve the “look.” How cruel is that? Without my knowledge my daughter was learning to sacrifice comfortable underwear for small ones for the sake of fashion. I couldn’t understand it, and I knew too small underwear would be uncomfortable for me as well as wearing jeans that allowed my backside to be exposed at the slightest bend. Yet, whenever I would tell my daughter to pull up her jeans, she didn’t seem embarrassed, or particularly bothered. It appeared that showing more flesh than desired was all a part of wearing the fashion and so it wasn’t a “big deal.”
As a youth program specialist, I get the opportunity to work with teen girls all across the country. Over the past five years, I’ve witnessed some shocking fashions but the one that disappoints me the most is the “too short skirt.” The too short skirt is the skirt that looks like a small handkerchief is wrapped around the waist. The too short skirt is the skirt that the girl wears and has to put her notebook, purse, backpack or papers on her thighs so that we don’t see her undergarments. How comfortable can it be to sit in a workshop and have to cover your thighs for an hour? How comfortable can it be to know that you can’t bend over and pick up anything because your private area will be exposed? What if somebody dropped a million dollars in front of the girl in a too short skirt? She wouldn’t even be able to become a millionaire without losing her dignity. The Too Short Skirt teen fashion trend is far too cruel.
The low waist jeans and the too short skirts are just two of the youth fashions that are being passed off as cool, but really aren’t. The other really cruel teen fashion is the too short shorts. These are the gym shorts that people in their thirties used to wear with the drawstring tie in the front. Well, girls of today are turning over the tops of the shorts and pulling them up like a pair of stockings. Not only do these short shorts look ridiculous, they look impossibly uncomfortable. Yet, millions of girls are flipping down the waistbands of their shorts to look like the girl sitting next to them. Needless to say, the elastic waistband is really helpful for girls with larger bellies. The elastic band keeps the tummy in and makes the girl look slimmer. But, unfortunately, the girl who really wants to keep her elastic waistband in tact isn’t doing so because she feels the pressure to fit in with all the girls who wear the turn down waist. It’s cruel.
I never thought cruel fashions could impact a girl’s self esteem, but so many girls are now suffering because they’re wearing clothes that make them feel bad about how they look. Historically, youth fashion trends gave youth a definitive and creative voice. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out what low waist, short skirts and short shorts are saying about our teen girls. Or maybe I refuse to hear what those fashion trends are saying because it’s just too cruel.

Jena 6 - I will be wearing black!

I will be wearing black on September 20th in my support of the Jena 6. I know that the 6 black boys in Jena, Louisiana could have been related to me. They could have been one of my cousins or a child from the neighborhood. That is why I will be wearing black. That is why I will be dressing my children in black.


If it’s the JENA 6 today, it could be 6 of your friends tomorrow, 6 of your relatives the next day, 6 of your cousins the day after that, and 6 of your children the day after that. There are 6 black boys in Jena, Louisiana who are in for the fight of their lives because they are facing life in jail for a school yard fight. It’s ignorance at its worse and racism at its best. The time is now for everyone to stand up for justice, no matter your color. The time is now for all of us to rally behind the JENA 6 and get the people out of office for what they’ve done and what they’re attempting to do. It is an American embarrassment and an American tragedy. How can the wealthiest, most civilized, most industrialized society in the world lower itself to such brutal, arcane, unforgivable practices? Who are we Americans? Who do we want to be?


I urge everyone who can travel to Jena, LA on September 20th to do so. The Jena 6 need our support. Visit http://www.freethejena6.org/ to learn more and to be urged to act!!!


Radio personality and author, Michael Baisden is urging all of us to wear black on September 20th in support of the Jena 6. Visit http://www.michaelbaisden.com/ for more info on his work.



I urge you to wear black and tell somebody why you are wearing black. If you don’t know what to say, feel free to use this script:


“I am wearing black today because 6 black boys in Louisiana are in the fight for their lives against a corrupt criminal justice system who doesn’t value their lives. I would never want my children, my family, or my neighbors to lose their freedom over a school yard fight. It’s not right and so today I am wearing black. I am mourning civil rights that the criminal justice system in Jena, Louisiana is so easily trying to kill. If you enjoy your freedom, you, too, should be wearing black.”

Va Tech Massacre - How Did It Happen?

As news coverage continues of yesterday's shooting at Virginia Tech-"The Greatest School Massacre in US History"-I hear more and more people asking how this shooting could have happened. I hear people share their shock and awe in the tragic turn of events. As saddened as I am about the inexcusable loss of life, I am not shocked. I am not shocked because I see the anger that young people possess. I am not shocked because I see the harmful effects of pursuing profits over the needs of people. I am not shocked because America has become so cold in the past 30 years.

In my line of work, I connect with middle, high school, and college students. Young people who for all intents and purposes have their entire lives ahead of them. And yet, so many of the young people that I come across are so angry-so very angry. When I ask of the source of their anger, many teens have buried the pain for so long, the words literally get caught in their throats. From what I have gathered in my research, however, many young people feel neglected by the very family that is supposed to love, guide and protect them. They are angry for being sent to school with an empty stomach. They are angry for being asked to do homework and no one in the household will try to help their efforts. They are angry at the crowdiness in their homes. They are angry at the drug abuse that goes on in their homes. And yet with all of the anger, hardly ever does a young person feel that they have someone with whom to confide. What happens to a young person who feels angry and doesn't believe that they can release the anger? Do they explode? Was the Va Tech shooter an angry person?

Capitalism. I studied it for years as a college student, I embraced it as an entrepreneur but now as a practitioner who works in the field with young people, I see how the pursuit of profits is diminishing the quality of life for all Americans - regardless of age. What happens in America when a child needs psychological help but the parents don't have insurance? Are his needs met? No. Does the child's suffering stop because the money isn't available to pay for the counseling? No. What happens in America when the anti-gun lobby asks for stricter laws in selling firearms? The pro-gun lobby PAYS more MONEY, the anti-gun lobby is silenced and the laws never get enacted. The gun manufacturers want to be rich, rich, rich. They don't concern themselves with the people who may die, die, die when a firearm easily gets into the hands of the wrong person. What happens to the young person who is angry, needs psychological help and has access to purchase a firearm? Bang! Was the VA Tech shooter in need of psychological help?

America: Land of the Beautiful, home of the COLD. Americans hardly say please or thank you to one another. When they're about to bump into you in a mall, they don't even want to say , "Excuse Me." They stay in their homes like groundhogs afraid of interaction with another human. Americans have become isolated. They hide behind locked doors and pretend electronic interaction is on the level of real human interaction. Americans see other Americans in trouble, but they don't speak up because it's against their slogan of "It's Not My Problem." Americans no longer know their own neighbors. The people who moved across the street from them could be pedophiles, you could see them bringing young boys into their home at all hours of the night and you wouldn't even raise a brow. The most the average American would say is, "Wow. That new neighbor is one heck of a boy scout. He must have lots of activities for his boys." Again, we're committed to the slogan, "It's Not My Problem." The problem with the slogan is: Somebody else's problem will eventually become your problem if it goes unchecked. The alcoholic who hits his wife and no one reported because no one thought it was their problem. Well, that same alcoholic got behind the wheel and ran over one of the neighborhood kids. It's your problem now. Did the VA Tech shooter have a problem that someone saw but decided against acknowledging, reporting or even attempting to help?

I don't pretend to have the answers, I just know that young people are some of the angriest people I've ever met, the pursuit of the mighty dollar is leaving a lot of people short, and turning our backs on other people's problems is getting us stabbed straight in it. I don't know how many massacres it's gonna take for America and Americans to step up to the plate. As one of my colleagues has said, "Who's gonna take the weight?" Somebody, somebodies, a whole lotta bodies ought to.

Straight In The Head

A fifteen year old male in San Bernadino, California was shot in the head in front of 100 people while coming out of a chicken joint. And yet not one witness has come forward to share information with the police.

At fifteen I was worried about the cute guy who I wanted to call me, but I wasn't worried about being shot straight in the head.

At fifteen, I got into he say/she say arguments with girls that were more than likely motivated by pettiness and jealousy, but none of those arguments lead to a bullet straight in the head.

At fifteen, I tried to hang with my brother's friends who were two years older than me, I was often in more mature situations than I could process, but I never thought about being shot straight in the head.

I would tell you the race of this fifteen year old. But what difference does it make? Any fifteen year old-white, black or brown- with good sense will tell you he's not ready die. Anybody person older than fifteen-white, black or brown- with good sense will tell you that they are not ready to die either. In fact, a 50 year old American will tell you that at 50, they're just getting started.

When we hear that a senseless act of violence involved a black teen, some of us unconsciously say to ourselves, "He probably deserved it." When we hear of a brown child involved in a senseless act of violence, some of us say to ourselves, "They're just like that." But when we hear of a white child involved in a senseless act of violence, we are most likely to say, "Oh, poor thing." We will even get outraged because whatever the case, we believe because he was white that he didn't deserve to become a victim of violence.

But at 15, no matter the color, bullets should not end your life. It doesn't matter if you live in the projects or in a Manhattan hi-rise, 15 years of age, is too young to die. When are we going to start getting outraged for all teens who are dying too young because of senseless violence. Are we truly so unevolved that we can't see the importance of life through race and economics?